Kevall’s blog

The cure for what isn't wrong with America

nobody@vox.com(Kevall) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:43:26 -0500

This originated in Scotland about 3 months ago, the rest of the world is laughing at us.

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Quote of the year

nobody@vox.com(Kevall) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:20:44 -0400

"The most positive thing about the 'Cash for Clunkers' program is that it took thousands of Obama bumper stickers off the road."

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When Aliens Breed

nobody@vox.com(Kevall) — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 16:08:50 -0400

You probably don’t recall (I don’t) that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.

However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:

       Albert A. Gore, Jr.
       Hillary Rodham
       John F. Kerry
       William J. Clinton
       Howard  Dean
       Nancy Pelosi
       Dianne Feinstein
       Charles E. Schumer
       Barbara Boxer

See what happens when aliens breed with sheep and jackasses?

I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It did for me.

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What a profound short little paragraph that says it all!

nobody@vox.com(Kevall) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:56:50 -0400

What a profound short little paragraph that says it all!!!

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by

legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person

receives without working for, another person must work for

without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody

anything that the government does not first take from

somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that

they do not have to work because the other half is going to

take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea

that it does no good to work because somebody else is going

to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the

end of any nation .. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing

it."

~~~~~ Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931

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THIS ONE PACKS A FIRM PUNCH

nobody@vox.com(Kevall) — Sun, 10 May 2009 09:14:07 -0400

THIS ONE PACKS A FIRM PUNCH! It was written by a Canadian woman, but oh how it also applies to the U.S. , U.K., and Australia.Here is a woman who should run for Prime Minister!

Written by a housewife in New Brunswick , to her local newspaper. This is one ticked off lady!

"Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001 and have continually threatened to do so since?

Were people from all over the world, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from the nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a few Taliban were claiming to be tortured by a justice system of the nation they come from and are fighting against in a brutal insurgency

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere belief of which is a crime punishable by beheading in Afghanistan.

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Afghanistan come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.
I'll care when the Canadian media stops pretending that their freedom of speech on stories is more important than the lives of the soldiers on the ground or their families waiting at home to hear about them when something happens.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a CANADIAN soldier roughing up an Insurgent terrorist to obtain information, know this:

I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank:

I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and 'fed special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe inyour heart of hearts:

I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn you guessed it,

I don't care!!"

And may I add:

'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Soldiers don't have that problem.'

I have another quote that I would like to add, AND.......I hope you forward all this.

One last thought for the day:

Only five defining forces have ever offered to die for you:

1. Jesus Christ
2. The Canadian Soldier.
3. The British Soldier.
4. The US Soldier, and
5. The Australian Soldier

One died for your soul, the other 4 for your freedom.'

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HP NetBook thoughts and love

nobody@vox.com(Kevall) — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 12:49:23 -0500

As some of you know I have for the most part switched my home computing platform over and use a MacBook. And really love it. To which I have also now added an external monitor recently which really works nice. However given my day to day job I am forced to keep at least one foot in the MS-Windows world. This has led to my fascination with "Netbooks" which led me to purchase an HP Mini-note 1035NR a couple of weeks ago. It is a great extra computer and its small size makes it real easy to carry around the house and use for light weight tasks. I did a video of the unboxing and will be posting it shortly. In the meantime if you want to see a good video reviews of this and other popular machines in this class check out the links below. Oh, and less I forget this post is being composed on the new toy.

Cnet reviews the HP Mini Note 1035NR
Gottabemobile reviews several popular netbooks
Bwana McCall reviews HP Mini Note
Warner Crocker first look at the HP Mini note 1035NR

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Bus Ride

nobody@vox.com(Kevall) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 21:43:07 -0500

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need
to fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat.
After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your
stop. As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and
that's when you realize, you have been listening to your iPod...

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Super Bowl Tickets

nobody@vox.com(Kevall) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 11:29:25 -0500

A man had 50-yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, another
man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No,"
he says, "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a
seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world,
and not use it?"

He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with
my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to
together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone
else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

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Saving Obama

nobody@vox.com(Kevall) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:12:18 -0500

Barack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped,
fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the
Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him
out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disneyland'
Barack, said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on my special Senator's airplane.'
The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's shoes.'
Barack said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them.'
The third kid said, 'I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!'
Barack was a little perplexed by this and said, 'But you don't look like you're disabled.'
The kid said, 'I will be, after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!'

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Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler

nobody@vox.com(Kevall) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 21:45:48 -0500

December 8 6:00 PM

It started to snow. The first snow of the season and The wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
The window watching the huge soft flakes drift down rom heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print.
So Romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9

We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow Covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic
Sight! Can there be a more lovely place in The whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've Ever had!
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a Boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered Up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got To
shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12

The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a Disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- We'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much Snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see Snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such A nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14

Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The Temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything Sparkle so.
The wind took my breath away, but I warmed Up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is The life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and Buried everything again. I didn't Realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, But I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15

20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 Extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants A wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16

Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in The driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The Wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very Cruel.

December 17

Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go Anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to Pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but Stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I Should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to Her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20

Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of The damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all Day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said They're too busy playing hockey. I think they're Lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about Buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have Another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob Says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22

Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more Inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, It probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes To get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I Had to piss.
By the time I got undressed, pissed and Dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to Hire Bob who has a plow
on his truck for the rest of The winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the Asshole is lying.

December 23

Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house This morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24

6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke The shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I Ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow Plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and Beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he Hides around the corner and waits for me to finish Shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 Miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just Been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas Carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25

Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow!Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful
Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26

Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27

Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28

Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29

10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30

Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.

December 31

I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8

Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

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